Combating Loneliness

I knew from the moment I started university that an 8 month work placement abroad would be a life – changing experience that would teach me numerous lessons, provide me with diverse experiences, and grant me insights about the world I would have missed out on had I not embarked upon this journey. Some of the lessons, observations, and insights a person can gain from an international experience are very obvious; these can include dealing with culture shock, learning about the lifestyle and social norms of a population accustomed to an environment so profoundly different from their own, or even a development of language skills. However, some lessons, observations, and insights are less obvious, and are only made aware to the person some time into the international experience.

A key lesson that I have learned from my time in Vietnam so far, that I most definitely did not see coming, is that sometimes you’re going to be alone for long periods of time and you’re going to have to be okay with it. You see, I was placed in a country that 10 other of my INDEV classmates were also placed in; Vietnam has a majority of the INDEVOURS while some of the other countries that were offered have as little as 2. So naturally, in the beginning I was expecting to never get any alone time. However, I find myself being one of the few who works in an organization and lives in a house without the company of anyone from Canada. At first, the weekdays were extremely difficult because it is hard to always see the others with conflicting schedules and distance. I found myself missing my fast – pace life in Canada; I constantly counted down the days until the weekend when I would be reunited with familiar people again. I would come home from work, and just sit in my room by myself, working on an assignment or personal project until dinner time; it was extremely hard not to get lonely. My host family is quite small – I live with a single mother and her young son (Her elder son and cousin also lived with us, but they moved away for school and personal reasons respectively), so after dinner the two of them are very busy, either completing assignments from work or doing homework.

It has been quite a learning curve, combating loneliness, especially because my regular day in Canada was the polar opposite of what it is like in Vietnam. In Canada, I was constantly surrounded by many different groups of people, and always had plans, even if they were just study dates. I've come to realize that being alone does not have to be a bad thing, but can be a great way to learn how to be comfortable with yourself or even branch out to those whom you would like to know better. The days I am alone, I keep busy by reading a book, working on my video editing skills, or going on a long walk to explore more of my neighbourhood and the Cau Giay district in general – there is a juice bar near my work that sells fresh mango smoothies (sinh to xoai) for only 20, 000 VND (basically 1$), and the owner knows me pretty well now! I also try to make plans with my coworkers, though they are very busy and sometimes cannot spare time. My most favourite pass-time would have to be an aerobics class that I joined at the beginning of this month. I was so nervous walking down there by myself the first day, noticing that I am the only Canadian in the class. I decided to keep going, and pretty soon it turned into a daily activity which definitely keeps me closer to home given my dancing background.

Though I do love the time I get with my friends (it brings back the familiarity of Canada that is nice to have) I am grateful for this learning opportunity. I've learned that being alone does not necessarily mean you have to be lonely; it means that you are comfortable with yourself and that you have gained enough independence and strength to be okay on your own.